Throwing Stones
Last night, some friends and I decided to have a Christmas in July party. We decorated cookies, made gingerbread, and exchanged gifts. We were going to watch Elf, but you will soon see why that didn't work out. During the white elephant gift exchange, I had my one-legged heffalump stolen and so I ended up with an unopened geode.
Being the brilliant BYU students that we are, we decided that the best way to open the rock would be to throw it into the parking lot from a 3rd story window. Thankfully, no cars were hit, but the geode did not open. We went downstairs for vengeance. I tried to throw it against the parking block, but as I throw like a 10-year-old version of me, it was to no avail. A friend picked it up and decided that he would be able to break it. Many of us expressed concern about the closeness of windows and cars, but somehow none of us moved and the rock was thrown.
I saw the rock fly into the parking block and ricochet off. I heard the breaking of glass. I ran. Apparently we have all seen too many children's movies where a baseball flys into a window, because the friends that were watching us from the 3rd floor said we all immediately scattered like ants. By the time I had run up the two flights of stairs, my senses had returned and I slowly began my descent back to the scene of the crime.
The rock had flown into someone's bedroom window. A boy with a girl clinging to him was angrily discussing with my friend who should call security. I later learned from his roommates that he was so angry because he and the girl had probably been very close to sex when the rock sailed through his window. We were rock-throwing cock blocks.
The other three roommates slowly trickled out, but they found the entire situation much more amusing than their amorous friend. The worst part of the situation was that the boy whose bed was directly under the window had just arrived that day from South Korea. The first day in America and a bunch of Mormon hooligans throw a rock through his window. We ended up chit-chatting for quite a while with the boys. One remarked that we should just go around throwing rocks at people's houses more often, because apparently you make friends that way.
The only awkward moment happened when one of the boys asked if Mormons drank. When we said no, he started playfully arguing about how they drank wine in the Bible. Having grown up on the east coast, I could tell that he wasn't being malicious, he was simply curious. One of the members of our group took it as an attack and began to argue with him. It escalated while the rest of us looked on, bewildered. He backed off, saying "Don't take it personally. I just like to debate religion. I do it with everyone."
She retorted with, "So, you're a douchebag to everyone?"
That's when I stepped in, saying something about how insulting the boys whose window we had just broken was probably not the best idea.
The boy recovered immediately and was laughing with us and saying "Who needs Facebook when you have rocks to throw at people?". Security came and talked with us, plywood was put over the window, and apology baked goods were promised. I don't always throw rocks at people's windows, but when I do I'm glad that some have a sense of humor.
Oh, and good news. We did break the geode.
Being the brilliant BYU students that we are, we decided that the best way to open the rock would be to throw it into the parking lot from a 3rd story window. Thankfully, no cars were hit, but the geode did not open. We went downstairs for vengeance. I tried to throw it against the parking block, but as I throw like a 10-year-old version of me, it was to no avail. A friend picked it up and decided that he would be able to break it. Many of us expressed concern about the closeness of windows and cars, but somehow none of us moved and the rock was thrown.
I saw the rock fly into the parking block and ricochet off. I heard the breaking of glass. I ran. Apparently we have all seen too many children's movies where a baseball flys into a window, because the friends that were watching us from the 3rd floor said we all immediately scattered like ants. By the time I had run up the two flights of stairs, my senses had returned and I slowly began my descent back to the scene of the crime.
The rock had flown into someone's bedroom window. A boy with a girl clinging to him was angrily discussing with my friend who should call security. I later learned from his roommates that he was so angry because he and the girl had probably been very close to sex when the rock sailed through his window. We were rock-throwing cock blocks.
The other three roommates slowly trickled out, but they found the entire situation much more amusing than their amorous friend. The worst part of the situation was that the boy whose bed was directly under the window had just arrived that day from South Korea. The first day in America and a bunch of Mormon hooligans throw a rock through his window. We ended up chit-chatting for quite a while with the boys. One remarked that we should just go around throwing rocks at people's houses more often, because apparently you make friends that way.
The only awkward moment happened when one of the boys asked if Mormons drank. When we said no, he started playfully arguing about how they drank wine in the Bible. Having grown up on the east coast, I could tell that he wasn't being malicious, he was simply curious. One of the members of our group took it as an attack and began to argue with him. It escalated while the rest of us looked on, bewildered. He backed off, saying "Don't take it personally. I just like to debate religion. I do it with everyone."
She retorted with, "So, you're a douchebag to everyone?"
That's when I stepped in, saying something about how insulting the boys whose window we had just broken was probably not the best idea.
The boy recovered immediately and was laughing with us and saying "Who needs Facebook when you have rocks to throw at people?". Security came and talked with us, plywood was put over the window, and apology baked goods were promised. I don't always throw rocks at people's windows, but when I do I'm glad that some have a sense of humor.
Oh, and good news. We did break the geode.
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